Long Time

It's been a long time since I've posted a blog. I guess my life has been so up and down that I'm not sure what to share. I had a previous post called "Newness" and I can assure you we must be careful what we pray, because God is faithful and he will give us the desires of our hearts. This of course follows a grueling transformation process, sometimes or most times we are unawares of the idols in our lives that we mistake for desires. So our God, strips away the idols leaving us naked and truly seeing what we need and thus beginning to desire that which is satisfying for our soul. There are so many things that God hasn't unleased in my life. Probably the same is true for any readers, if I have any readers. But hold tight to your faith, because we serve a God that knows us better than we know ourselves and understands what we can take, and boy oh boy gives us a test of faith that is designed specifically for us. I said I've been through a lot this season of my life and I've been faced with many obstacles. I have a fear of not knowing my future, but God is teaching me that if I hold on to him (because he knows the future) then I have no need to worry. Afterall, he knows what lies ahead. Our life is our witness, and we must speak up and speak out. Seasons of life come and go. But faith gives us the grit to keep going.

Yours in Christ,
JT everything

Looking to Him

God is truly allowing me to hear from him lately and it is such a sobering feeling with all that seems to be occurring in my life. I recently picked up a copy of "Knowing God," by J I Packer and it is a very intriguing look at the life of the person who aspires to know God. I say aspire, because it is a endless journey (yet a good one) to have a desire to "know God." This task should be the livelihood of every Christian. And it's not just about knowledge of God. Because to know God is to be drawn to him in his majesty and his glory. It also involves the experience of God. There is no other place we should rather be than obtaining a understanding of God. Time has no value, and food loses its taste apart from knowing him.
Often since I started this reading God has been invading my sleep. Last night he spoke and the verse came to my mind, "God is not a man that he should lie, nor the son of man that he should change his mind. Does he speak and not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?" This verse is located in Numbers and it is an explanation of the character of the one we serve. He is indebted in faithfulness to his people. Not because of us, but because of his word to us. God promises. God fulfills. I am so glad I know him. I don't completely understand his will, but his character is sure and I can trust him. I look to HIM.

JTeverything

Newness

The new year has come and newness in American is very apparent. Some of the societal ills that have plagued this country has been confronted with hope, and a new vision for change. However, this new vision for change does not come without trials. As a christian one has to understand that there will always be trials or storms if you will. But our eyes are not to be fixed on those storms, but on Jesus. As I grow in my relationship with Christ I am perplexed at the storms that I find in my life, but I am also amazed at the provision he provides and the ways of escape.

Its a new year for new mercies with a new understanding of God. The Word says, "that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." May I learn to have a reverent fear for God that would drive our complacency this year. I pray that I grow exponentially. I will trust in him, and his Word so that whatever comes my way I'll be safe within Him.

Jteverything

Some Chip on my Shoulder

Well this post may not be very informative about the ways of God and man. I just think it will be a little of my rambling. So I was confronted today while I was watching a clip of a documentary "Jesus Camp." And while watching the guy that works here says that he sees nothing wrong with it while proceding to give me a diatribe of his influences in the church camp world and the products of the "jesus movement" of his day. I don't know how we got there, but I proceeded to ask numerous questions about, "If they were so changed in his day, 1.)where is the residue of his movement, 2.)why is it he blames the culture now of the area he lived (Denham Springs) in on all external things except that movement he was a part of, 3.)Did all involved in said "movement" become impacted by this movement and if not, why. I don't know how it got here, but it did. And I was left with unanswered questions, yet the answer to those questions are so abundantly clear.
The title was because he said that I had a chip on my shoulder and he had nerve to say he reached this assumption because I walked out on a Debate "they" not me were having about the current political structure. Firstly, I must admit I do have what Dubois called a "Veil". I have lived with it all my life and all individuals of color have this 'veil' and we pray to God that we can just get home or to comfort were we can be ourselves behind that 'veil'. Its not easy smiling when you are raging mad. I just want to be out of this sin filled body, world, etc. So I can be where there is perfection. Jesus offers that perfection and frankly I probably need to be a little more repentant of the way I approached the situation. Do I have a chip on my shoulder. Probably do. Do I want this chip, absolutely not. But here I am.
The sad thing is in the midst of all this no one said anything. I guess it was probably a stupid argument anyway. I need to pray, but so does everyone in that so called jesus revolution so that they could understand fully what God has called us to. Not a life of isolation from a tainted world. But he has called us to be "salt" and "light". We've got so far to go, and we've come so far also. But he still ticked me off.

Consistency

This is a true lesson that I have to learn. If insanity is doing the same things and expecting different results, then I must be the most insane person in the world. But isn't this true of all of us that are stuck in a continuum of time that allows us to follow the exact same methods to solve problems or not solve problems. I wish that I could make all the mistakes of my past disappear. I really do. But I can't and I can't seem to get it together enough to began to heal for the life of me. Is that insane? I thought so, too.

What I do know? God has always provided in the midst of my stupidity. He always provides for fools and babies. He has always been gracious amongst my disobedience, and he continues to allow me to exist, when most assuredly I deserve a guilty plea of death.

May he help me to be consistent. May he help me to be strong for the future of ministry, in Jesus name. Amen.

Not perfect, just forgiven

It would be such an incredible weight if we had to "gain" God's affections. I certainly would have absolutely given up a long time ago if I had to set my sites towards reaching the bar that would be set for us toward perfection in God. Can you imagine the stress and anxiety it would be to have to gain right standing before God? But what if one, other than Christ did reach perfection. I imagine that the way that we are as idolatrous humans, we would make monuments for this person. He would be our leader, because although we didn't make it he or she did and can tell us how that was. We would worship this creature, rather than the creator who is blessed forever(Romans 1:25). This person would in turn accept our worship, deifying himself and forgetting why he ever pushed so hard to reach his goals, which in our eyes was perfection. It would also be a constant struggle to stay at the top. One thing is certain for us as humans and that is that there is always someone bigger, better, and brighter.

In my opinion this has always been the beginning of newfound religions. Can you see it? Can you see how all others religions and/or beliefs differ from Christianity? They all represent a false hope that through a fallible leader, prophet, intellect or lifestyle that somehow you will reach a euphoric oneness with that said leader. It's a half-truth, because in reality there was one sent in our place, he was a ransom for many and he lived a perfect, sinless life. He was a revolutionary thinker, pioneer, he is wisdom, and he is knowledge, he created history and history and future is obedient to only him. Through this one man who was God and man, we can have forgiveness of sin and he cannot and will not forget who he is, because he is "the Great I Am." Can you believe this? God could only send God to be worshipped and glorified. All other religions at best are imposters, leading men toward destruction. For you see, knowing ourselves is the basis for perceiving who we are what we are about. Understanding our design to worship that which is beyond us God sent his Son to free us from sin. And we all are the same, "For all have sinned and fallen short," (Romans 3:23) and our verdict is guilty. However through Christ we have forgiveness and substitutionary atonement which is simply his righteous imputed to us. So, as I grow I have a proper grasp on who I am; not perfect, just forgiven.

Jteverything

Reality Check

There are numerous situations in our lives where we can chose to play the blame game. "My mother didn't hug me enough." "I didn't have a father to show me nothin'." "Life's hard,and on and on and on." But reality always surfaces in the mind of the sober and that person must realize that "he" or "she" has to make there own choices in what direction they are heading with there life. Being a man of many excuses some valid and others not, I understand that its easy to be defeated. I feel defeated all the time, lonely, depressed, dejected, unwanted and unloved. But I also know the truth. I am the captain of my feelings, although real to me stained with sin and not laced with the truth of God's word. Healing starts right now. Tomorrow is to far away and today is slowly fading, now is the time for change. I arrived at this conclusion from many thoughts that have been swimming around in my mind. Sunday morning at church we had the pastor's son speak and he did a tremendous job, and last Wednesday at Vintage Church I was convicted on being dedicated to your church family. However in each instance I couldn't help but see the faithfulness of God in the lives of both speakers. They both are dynamic speakers, both pk's and both next generation leaders. A foundation was laid that would cause both these individuals to see their potential early on, and a glimpse of what they could become because of the heritage that is presented before them. And then there is me, unsure what my father was like and afraid to be what my mother is like. I feel inadequate and fearful, because I never had a guideline laid before me of the man that I could become, or what did my father, grandfather and great-grandfather submit to. Do I have anything in common with my half brothers and sisters I don't know. Am I bound by the same mediocre life that brings wasted dreams and unlocked potential. Unfortunately , I don't know what my father believed. Obviously not taking care of me, but other than this tidbit I know nothing of him. My Lord and my God has lead me towards repentance and I pray for peace in my heart that I can find forgiveness in my heart. I honestly feel nothing and I don't know if that good or bad. God has been so good to me and I have a long way to go until I've learned how to obtain wisdom. He has allowed me to be influenced by a gambit of men, however none can have the impact or would have had the impact that a father would have. Proverbs 15:33 tells me that the fear of the Lord is instruction in wisdom and humility comes before honor. My reality check is that before salvation everything thing I thought was enmity towards God, and I have allowed some of the disdain of my father spill over into my new life in Christ, not knowing how to trust God and his infinite will. I must decrease, and he must increase. My life although sometimes tough, is but a vapor and my hope is built on my Savior, Jesus Christ. I pray that whatever state of humility God wants me to be at that he can allow me to get there soon.

In Jesus,
JTeverything