Some Chip on my Shoulder

Well this post may not be very informative about the ways of God and man. I just think it will be a little of my rambling. So I was confronted today while I was watching a clip of a documentary "Jesus Camp." And while watching the guy that works here says that he sees nothing wrong with it while proceding to give me a diatribe of his influences in the church camp world and the products of the "jesus movement" of his day. I don't know how we got there, but I proceeded to ask numerous questions about, "If they were so changed in his day, 1.)where is the residue of his movement, 2.)why is it he blames the culture now of the area he lived (Denham Springs) in on all external things except that movement he was a part of, 3.)Did all involved in said "movement" become impacted by this movement and if not, why. I don't know how it got here, but it did. And I was left with unanswered questions, yet the answer to those questions are so abundantly clear.
The title was because he said that I had a chip on my shoulder and he had nerve to say he reached this assumption because I walked out on a Debate "they" not me were having about the current political structure. Firstly, I must admit I do have what Dubois called a "Veil". I have lived with it all my life and all individuals of color have this 'veil' and we pray to God that we can just get home or to comfort were we can be ourselves behind that 'veil'. Its not easy smiling when you are raging mad. I just want to be out of this sin filled body, world, etc. So I can be where there is perfection. Jesus offers that perfection and frankly I probably need to be a little more repentant of the way I approached the situation. Do I have a chip on my shoulder. Probably do. Do I want this chip, absolutely not. But here I am.
The sad thing is in the midst of all this no one said anything. I guess it was probably a stupid argument anyway. I need to pray, but so does everyone in that so called jesus revolution so that they could understand fully what God has called us to. Not a life of isolation from a tainted world. But he has called us to be "salt" and "light". We've got so far to go, and we've come so far also. But he still ticked me off.

Consistency

This is a true lesson that I have to learn. If insanity is doing the same things and expecting different results, then I must be the most insane person in the world. But isn't this true of all of us that are stuck in a continuum of time that allows us to follow the exact same methods to solve problems or not solve problems. I wish that I could make all the mistakes of my past disappear. I really do. But I can't and I can't seem to get it together enough to began to heal for the life of me. Is that insane? I thought so, too.

What I do know? God has always provided in the midst of my stupidity. He always provides for fools and babies. He has always been gracious amongst my disobedience, and he continues to allow me to exist, when most assuredly I deserve a guilty plea of death.

May he help me to be consistent. May he help me to be strong for the future of ministry, in Jesus name. Amen.

Not perfect, just forgiven

It would be such an incredible weight if we had to "gain" God's affections. I certainly would have absolutely given up a long time ago if I had to set my sites towards reaching the bar that would be set for us toward perfection in God. Can you imagine the stress and anxiety it would be to have to gain right standing before God? But what if one, other than Christ did reach perfection. I imagine that the way that we are as idolatrous humans, we would make monuments for this person. He would be our leader, because although we didn't make it he or she did and can tell us how that was. We would worship this creature, rather than the creator who is blessed forever(Romans 1:25). This person would in turn accept our worship, deifying himself and forgetting why he ever pushed so hard to reach his goals, which in our eyes was perfection. It would also be a constant struggle to stay at the top. One thing is certain for us as humans and that is that there is always someone bigger, better, and brighter.

In my opinion this has always been the beginning of newfound religions. Can you see it? Can you see how all others religions and/or beliefs differ from Christianity? They all represent a false hope that through a fallible leader, prophet, intellect or lifestyle that somehow you will reach a euphoric oneness with that said leader. It's a half-truth, because in reality there was one sent in our place, he was a ransom for many and he lived a perfect, sinless life. He was a revolutionary thinker, pioneer, he is wisdom, and he is knowledge, he created history and history and future is obedient to only him. Through this one man who was God and man, we can have forgiveness of sin and he cannot and will not forget who he is, because he is "the Great I Am." Can you believe this? God could only send God to be worshipped and glorified. All other religions at best are imposters, leading men toward destruction. For you see, knowing ourselves is the basis for perceiving who we are what we are about. Understanding our design to worship that which is beyond us God sent his Son to free us from sin. And we all are the same, "For all have sinned and fallen short," (Romans 3:23) and our verdict is guilty. However through Christ we have forgiveness and substitutionary atonement which is simply his righteous imputed to us. So, as I grow I have a proper grasp on who I am; not perfect, just forgiven.

Jteverything

Reality Check

There are numerous situations in our lives where we can chose to play the blame game. "My mother didn't hug me enough." "I didn't have a father to show me nothin'." "Life's hard,and on and on and on." But reality always surfaces in the mind of the sober and that person must realize that "he" or "she" has to make there own choices in what direction they are heading with there life. Being a man of many excuses some valid and others not, I understand that its easy to be defeated. I feel defeated all the time, lonely, depressed, dejected, unwanted and unloved. But I also know the truth. I am the captain of my feelings, although real to me stained with sin and not laced with the truth of God's word. Healing starts right now. Tomorrow is to far away and today is slowly fading, now is the time for change. I arrived at this conclusion from many thoughts that have been swimming around in my mind. Sunday morning at church we had the pastor's son speak and he did a tremendous job, and last Wednesday at Vintage Church I was convicted on being dedicated to your church family. However in each instance I couldn't help but see the faithfulness of God in the lives of both speakers. They both are dynamic speakers, both pk's and both next generation leaders. A foundation was laid that would cause both these individuals to see their potential early on, and a glimpse of what they could become because of the heritage that is presented before them. And then there is me, unsure what my father was like and afraid to be what my mother is like. I feel inadequate and fearful, because I never had a guideline laid before me of the man that I could become, or what did my father, grandfather and great-grandfather submit to. Do I have anything in common with my half brothers and sisters I don't know. Am I bound by the same mediocre life that brings wasted dreams and unlocked potential. Unfortunately , I don't know what my father believed. Obviously not taking care of me, but other than this tidbit I know nothing of him. My Lord and my God has lead me towards repentance and I pray for peace in my heart that I can find forgiveness in my heart. I honestly feel nothing and I don't know if that good or bad. God has been so good to me and I have a long way to go until I've learned how to obtain wisdom. He has allowed me to be influenced by a gambit of men, however none can have the impact or would have had the impact that a father would have. Proverbs 15:33 tells me that the fear of the Lord is instruction in wisdom and humility comes before honor. My reality check is that before salvation everything thing I thought was enmity towards God, and I have allowed some of the disdain of my father spill over into my new life in Christ, not knowing how to trust God and his infinite will. I must decrease, and he must increase. My life although sometimes tough, is but a vapor and my hope is built on my Savior, Jesus Christ. I pray that whatever state of humility God wants me to be at that he can allow me to get there soon.

In Jesus,
JTeverything

Ode to the "Big Mouths"

Well if any of you know me, you may know that I sometimes have a tendency to have a slighty extended vocabulary when it comes to certain issues. I honestly don't want to come across as if I know it all or have it all together because that would be a complete fallacy, but at any rate it happens and I'm guilty as charged for always having an opinion on some things. I was reading in the word tonight and low and behold there was a 'Word from the Lord' just for me.(It's for everyone but you get the drift.)

I'm currently reading Proverbs. Today's reading was Proverbs 15-19. Proverbs is a book written by Solomon to his son about wisdom, righteous living, good vs. bad and about having a healthy fear of Yahweh (God). To some this would mean that the words in Proverbs are not promises from God but suggestive life patterns from the King Solomon. In my opinion, there is much to gain from these points from the king, mainly because this knowledge or any knowledge from one of God's agents comes directly from Him. This would only stand however, if you hold to the conviction that the Bible is the inspired, inerrant word of God, which I do. At any rate things were going good until I got these few verses, "Whoever restrains his words has knowledge,
and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent." Prov 17:27-28 (ESV) OUCH!!!

This is good advice. Think about it. Some people always have something to say, about everything. They seem to be an expert at everything. And they appear to have a sociological scholarship towards all cultures, theologies, educations and careers.
They always have an opinion. However, I learned that knowledge comes from having restraint. Our culture doesn't handle restraint very well, and can we even formulate the words 'I don't know.' For me, I just need to shut up, be quiet and listen. I got two things from this passage tonight. 1.) I need to learn to have restraint, and 2.) Be cool. It really does say "be cool". "And he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding." I like being cool. I don't think that I was ever cool growing up. It's good to see that God gives me the "cool" spirit, or the ability to discipline myself to have a 'cool spirit.' It even goes further to say, "even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is counted prudent (or intelligent)."

So all my fellow "Big Mouth" men and women, lets try to be a little more restrained and cool. Maybe more people will like us. Or more importantly, we'll bring the Father glory by actually going into a situation sober minded enough to listen, analyze and then respond or don't respond at all. Then people can think we're wise. Amen to that.

May God grant us wisdom through humility, (Proverbs 15:33b)
JTeverything

This is truly a great a step in the direction of the glory of God revealed in our church...

I kinda like this guy...a bit radical, but truth sometimes is harsh and in your face

So What's up Anyway

This summer I have had so much idle time that I don't know what to do. I can honestly say that there was a lot of reading that got done. But much more could have gotten done. What's so funny about growing in your spiritual walk is that some things that provided so much joy in your infant stages of Christianity now seem so tedious and dare I say it boring. I could recall when some books I read gave me so much insight about the mind of God and now it's just a collection of information. But of course, like all times of idleness your true nature revisits. It is the main cause of my spiritual drought I suppose and it is the culprit in stealing the joy I once got from a great book.
Not all this summer was a waste pool of sin however. I got to visit one of my closes friends. He seems to be so spiritually mature, and I always wonder what it would be like to be in love with God the way he is. Don't get me wrong I love God with my whole heart, but I am so easily taken away by my lusts, desires, and passions that only leave me wanting for more of nothing. It's the song and dance that relives daily in my walk. I know that I have victory. But it is so faint today. I pray that God would restore my joy. I fight for a passion for him and him alone. I'll be back tomorrow with an update on my progress.

Salvation comes by Grace through Faith,
Jteverything